I can’t believe I gave birth for the second time 4 weeks ago. For anyone who has been here before or is about to do it for the first time let me reassure you we all go through the same emotional experience within our first month. I’ve been capturing my own chain of events and hope that anyone who is, about too or has recently gone through this will know you are totally normal, it happens to us all. Here’s how my first month of being a mum unravelled…
- Week 1
Coming out of hospital I felt like I was on cloud 9 as giving birth to Grace was an amazing, unforgettable experience and my recovery, physically, seemed like it was going to be much better than it was with Charlie. A few days after labour my body started to feel like it had gone 10 rounds in a boxing match yet my mind wasn’t synced, this was filled with joy, contentment and delight as my baby girl was finally here and my family was complete.
Over the course of the week we received lots of cards, presents for Grace and wonderful gifts from both of our workplaces. Requests to see Grace were flooding in but it all started to feel overwhelming, as the week nearly came to an end, I wasn’t quite ready to face anyone yet or even share my bundle of joy with anyone. This feeling remained with me for a number of days, I couldn’t explain it, I just know I wasn’t ready yet.
- Week 2
The positive emotions of having a new baby were still ignited inside of me but the tears and sadness has set in and I found myself crying over anything and everything.
One day I couldn’t speak in fear of bursting into tears with no explanation at all, so I pushed it deep inside of me with the hope it would pass however its safe to say one way of this NOT going away was to watch “Lost Families” with Davina McCall. Oh my goodness the flood gates opened and I sobbed all over my ham and cheese toastie, Jay took one look at me and said “I don’t think this is the right time to be watching this, I’ll put something else on hey babes”, (bless him) but me being me, I was determined to prove that it wasn’t my pregnancy hormones and I hadn’t totally lost the plot so I insisted it remain on and just blamed the whole thing on Davina and their sad stories.
The week was a long one and the tears just kept on coming. I was on the roller coaster of emotions and there was no getting off just yet.
- Week 3
After getting through boxes of tissues (Kleenex you can thank me for your increase of profits) reality of being a new mum was finally starting to settle in. I was slowly working my way through the visitors and my labour story was becoming tedious and my telling of the story was getting shorter and shorter.
So much was happening, Jay was back at work after taking some leave, Charlie had started back school again and I was struggling to find my own routine. I needed to give myself a break though, it was only week 3 however as person who is always on the go, whether that’s work, socially or just family time, I needed to give myself some targets to work towards (forgive me for the phrase but its the corporate work side of me creeping in).
I decided that I would venture out and take a work to town, pick up a few bits of shopping, I would work on my blog a few times a week whilst Grace had her naps, start making the occasional evening meal from scratch, order some make up products I’d had my eye on and pick Charlie up earlier from after school club. After reading an article Inspired – the search for a 3rd Place, I’d realised that all of these things made me happy, they were either my hobbies or my passions, the last thing I wanted to do was become a hermit.
- Week 4
Sleep depravation is an absolute killer, its always been a weakness of mine and effects my immune systems really quickly. I’m not a person who needs 7 hours a night, however I do need consistency. Just 5 hours a night is enough for me but I do need it every night. Grace is waking two times a night which on the grand scale of things doesn’t sound too bad however when she wakes, I’m up for 1-2 hrs each time. So i’m making sure I don’t over fill my days now and catch a few zzzz’s when Grace does, this is starting to make a difference.
I feel like things are starting to settle down a little now and I’m finding my way. Grace is an amazing baby and is no trouble at all, whether this is because I know what I’m doing this time round or that I feel more chilled out this time but I’m really enjoying my time with her and capturing as much as I can both photo and videos so that memories are kept alive.
There’s high’s and lows, tears & joy but all of which is completely normal. Its not easy but it has its rewards. Cherish every moment, lean on friends & family as you don’t have to do it alone.
Big Love Nicola xx